Valentine’s Day, Every Day: Celebrating Little Sweets

My partner is not American, and we were discovering, enjoying, and getting used to our cultural differences. Valentine’s Day is a big deal in the United States, so I wanted to manage my expectations and protect my heart just in case. Donnie, the best advice giver (as so many hairdressers are!), encouraged me to bring up my thoughts so that we could align on how we would (or would not) celebrate; this would help both me and my partner avoid disappointment.

At dinner, I casually asked my partner if we should make dinner reservations somewhere since restaurants were getting booked up. 

He looked surprised and responded, “I’m not crazy about celebrating love on one day. We should treat every day like Valentine’s Day and not just February 14."

"Why don’t we focus on ‘little sweets’ every day? We make morning coffee for each other, give massages, and write gratitude notes every single day. In my opinion, these little moments are much more important than the big ones.” 

My partner then explained that he’d once been in a marriage full of surprise parties and expensive gifts for anniversaries and birthdays, but the little daily things were never appreciated or celebrated. So even though he surprised me with red roses on February 14 after all, his “little sweets” philosophy was the more significant and impactful gift that keeps on giving.

1. List. Who would you like to appreciate Write down their names (and don’t forget yourself!).

2. Reflect. What are small ways that you could give “little sweets”? It doesn’t have to be expensive to show appreciation! The best gifts are free, like sending text messages with a note of gratitude to friends or coworkers.

3. Give. Every time you give a “little sweet,” say an affirmation to yourself like, “I love giving from a cup that overflows!”

• Send a text sharing what you love about them.

• Leave a note with a compliment before leaving for the day.

• Venmo ten to twenty dollars with  “Lunch is on me!” or an inspirational message.

• Have a surprise picnic.

• Do an unexpected chore.

• Bring a treat to a meeting.

• Gift a friend your favorite new discovery, such as a hand cream or bath salts.

• Be the planner of your group and get everyone together for a day at the beach or park.

• Surprise a loved one with hard-to-get chocolate, candy, or specialty food.

• Set up a weekend “walk and talk” for some bonding time.